Add to Technorati Favorites Add to Technorati Favorites Add to Technorati Favorites

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween


Today I spent all morning in the haunted house at my kids' school, screaming and scaring the kids with my scary costume. Got to see my two kids do come in, they just love to see their mom doing this kind of stuff , makes them feel important, and that makes me happy.

tonight we go out trick or treating. I am so excited and so are they. Costumes are all ready,
they are ready to collect massive amounts of candy. should be fun.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

my boyfriend and his son

I am actually mom to my own two kids and a wicked stepmother- at least that's how he perceives me I think - to my boyfriend' s son. It has been a terrible adjustment to this little boy to have me be with his dad and not have his dad with his mommy. And, please be aware that I was not at fault here, honest, they broke up way before I was in the picture, and she has since remarried. I guess I should mention that this little boy suffers from autism. Anyone with any experience with a special needs child might understand a bit about what that can be like. Frustrating, to say the least.
I do try, but my patience is not always what it should be. He is a trying little boy, screams when he doesnt get his way.

new ideas about this blog

As you may or may not be able to tell - lol - I am a real novice at this stuff. I am also a very private person , not used to sharing information with a bunch of people that I don't actually know. That is why I have been pretty tentative and hesitant about what I am saying . But I notice that as I progress, I am beginning to open up a little bit more. feeling a little less like censoring myself, you could say. Feeling like it 's actually ok, this blogging thing. I am actually starting to enjoy it. I am not at the stage yet where I could post pics of myself and my family out there for everybody. Not because my kids are not the most gorgeous , of course, (because they are!) but still the whole thing about wanting to be annonymous. Well there is some reason behind that, of course. Some of the things I might reveal - well they might be better left private. I have some pretty racy things in my past that I might wanna share, but I don't want my neighbors to know!!! I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.
So you know that I have two kids. For many years, to reveal a bit more, I was a single mom.
To any single moms out there- well I don't have to describe the special stress that entails.
And please don't make judgements about me and about the kind of person I am, because you might be very, very wrong.
I don't know if I qualify as a single mom anymore. For the past year, I have been living with a man who I have known for a number of years. S o, sounds like a happy fairy tale ending right?Wish I could say that, and for awhile I thought it was. But I know now that we are having our problems. Whether they can be resolved or not, I dunno. I sure hope so. My kids are very used to having him around.

Monday, October 22, 2007

So how come I am not the mommy of my fantasies?

I mean, we all had them, right? The fantasies of what we would be like when we were finally mommies? i know when I used to see parents yell at their kids when I was younger, I was so
smug in the certainty - the absolute certainty - that I would never do that. I would always be in control, I would be calm, I would be patient, etc.
Don't get me wrong. The kids are pretty well behaved compared to alot of th e kids I see around them . They really are. But I still get pretty frustrated with them. Just put them in bed,
after listening to them yell and yell and fight with each other, and I got annoyed and I yelled and then I felt guilty and here we go, downward spiral, round and round. All the other mothers seem so calm, and I feel.. so frantic and uncalm.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

I am going to introduce myself

This is my very first blog ever. I have never done this before. I am not, as they say, technologically minded. My knowledge of computers - well, let's just say I 'm a dinosaur in the Stone Age. My eight year old son has surpassed me , more than can be imagined. But hey, I'm on the internet!! And I am blogging!!!!! We'll see where this takes me. I envision great things.

Amazing things.



so. I am Julie. I am a mother. And that has taken over my identity , to a great extent.

I don't think I realized how much it would. Does anybody? Does anybody really, really know

how much becoming a mother changes them? Or maybe it is just me.



I have two kids. I have an eight year old boy and a five year old daughter. Both such special kids. And they fill so much of my time and my energy and my thoughts.



Also have so many worries. So many worries that consume me. For example- how am I going to pay the bills? How am I going to provide for them. Sometimes the worries get really overwhelming.